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October 22, 2014

Parenting Conundrum -- Help? AN UPDATE!!

I'm one of those people that doesn't ask a lot of advice from people. Especially about parenting. It's not because I know everything and don't think that others have anything to offer me. It's more that, when I read blogs or internet threads where advice is dispensed, there is so much that is variable. There's a lot of, "Well, this worked for me....not sure it's the right thing for everyone" and "Every kid is different" and an awful whole heckuva lot of "It depends."

Why would I write a blog post now to ask for advice? Well...a situation has occurred multiple times at my house the last few months and I obviously have not handled it well since it continues to happen. So, I'm coming out of hibernation (why haven't I blogged lately??) to ask for some ideas and/or advice on how to handle something.

You don't even have to be a parent to help me on this. Think about siblings doing similar things...or friends.  :)

Set the stage, here: I wear makeup. Some people might say I wear a lot of makeup and some people might say I don't wear enough. Just about everyone could give me some tips on how to do it better, I know that.

Girls like makeup! Go figure!! :) (Photo Credit)
I have three daughters in my house. They are ages 13, 11 and 8. None of them wear makeup on a daily basis and the oldest will wear it on weekends (the school rule is no makeup). The oldest also has some makeup she's received either as gifts or that I have purchased for her in the last year or so. The younger two haven't expressed much interest in makeup at this point and they do not have any in their possession.

Here's the recurring situation: Someone uses my makeup. No one owns up to it. An accusation that I don't really remember how I left my things typically ensues. And that is typically followed by suggestion that maybe NO ONE messed with my stuff. Today, the suggestion was that my husband must have used it.

I know someone used the eye shadow applicator because I see that the person applied blush (rouge-tinged bristles -- when my eye shadow is clear/very light neutral color) with it. I wipe this brush clean each time I use it as the bristles are a special material that helps apply the powderless kind of eye shadow. Once it was used for blush, the culprit did not clean it off AND inserted it back into its sleeve the opposite direction of how I keep it.

I know someone used my foundation brush because it was damp (perhaps it got dropped in the sink??)

I know someone used my eyebrow comb/brush because it was missing (in this instance, it mysteriously or miraculously showed up in its proper location within a day of my registering annoyance that it is gone and I know someone used it, and then lied to me about it).

I know someone used my makeup (in general) because things are out of place. I am meticulous with my stuff and I store it exactly the same way when I am finished every single time (thank you, OCD). The child using it clearly doesn't understand why anyone would do that -- which is why said child thinks she can get away with not owning up to it and trying to convince me that perhaps my husband (???) is the one who has been dabbling in my makeup (Yep -- that was actually uttered this morning).

Here's the thing: I think it's NATURAL for a girl to want to wear some makeup. I wear makeup because I like it! I am sure my girls want to wear it, too. And I am not opposed to them learning how to use makeup and wearing it (just not to school since that is against the rules). I am hurt because this situation where they use my makeup without asking makes me think that they believe I would not let them use makeup. I think I've been fairly reasonable about the whole makeup and clothes things with my girls. I've been flexible, but held firm on certain things -- but none of the things I've felt the need to "hold firm" on have been makeup related.

So, if one of my girls asked to use my makeup, I would most likely say "yes" (if no rules were being broken) and also see if it were time to get her some (more) of her own.

Here's another thing: I don't like lies. If I confront a child of mine with a question like, "Hey, did you use this makeup thing?" I expect an honest answer. When I believe I am being lied to, it hurts my feelings and also makes me angry. I think it hurts me more than angers me, though, because I don't know why my kids want to deceive me.

THIS situation occurred this morning: I came home from working out and was getting ready for work, used my foundation brush and found it damp, then found my eye shadow brush had been used and put away incorrectly (completely different from how I store my brush). My first thought was that it was the oldest. When confronted, she denied it. I can't imagine it had been either of the younger two, but I asked them and they said they hadn't. used it.

No one every owned up to it. I went about my routine getting ready. I thought about how I could get the truth from my girl(s).

My solution for this time is that no monthly allowances will be paid until the person who used the makeup (and did a pretty shoddy job of putting stuff back) makes herself known to me. I don't JUST MEAN November allowances -- I mean no more allowances EVER until the person owns up to it. Allowances are these girls' only way of obtaining money (well, the oldest gets babysitting jobs...) so I am hopeful this will work. I even said, "you can come to me individually, if you want. I promise you that the anger I feel toward being lied to will most likely be overcome with happiness to forgive and move on once the truth has been acknowledged." And, knowing how I felt in the past with situations like this, I believe it to be true. Once I know the truth, I can address the initial lie, discuss the harm that it caused the relationship, but then move on from it. Especially with one of my dear children.

I did tell the girls that the longer I am lied to, the more angry I am about the whole thing and that I wouldn't have been all that angry if the person had just owned up to it from the get-go.


Photo Credit

Let's be clear about something: My anger = disappointed look, a little bit of yelling. So, the fear of me being angry that they use my makeup without asking first is a little weird, in my opinion.

So --  my question(s) for you, readers:

1) Is there a better way (i.e., more efficient) to get the information from my girls, than just withholding their monthly allowance? (I do suspect the oldest, but man, she was figuratively digging in her heels even as we drove to school...)

2) How can I stop this lying? I'm of the opinion that when kids start lying, they start with small things (like saying they didn't use mom's makeup without asking, when they really did) and when they get away with it, the lying moves on to bigger things until the kid is just an all-out liar. I don't want to push my girls away, but I'm really hurt by the lying. And it's my job as their mom to call them on it, put a stop to it and make sure they understand what they do to our relationship when they lie to me.

3) Once this is settled, I fear that I've got a trip to a makeup counter in my future to get a full set of something for at least the oldest. But I don't want to "reward" this bad behavior (if, in fact, she is the one who used the makeup and then lied profusely -- AND wanted me to consider that CRAIG used my makeup!!!)

Please respond in the comments or even tweet me or IM me or e-mail me. I am not lie-awake-at-night stressed out about this, but I'm quite interested to read your thoughts.

UPDATE!
I called to talk with the kids after school and asked my oldest if anyone could tell me the truth yet. She said that the youngest confessed to it while they were at before-school care this morning. So I got the youngest girl on the phone and she also told me that it was she who had gotten into the makeup. We talked about how I was not angry that she wanted to play with the makeup, but that I do wish she had asked first. I likened it to the times recently when she has gotten upset at her brothers coming into her room and playing with her dollhouse without her permission. I also told her that it really hurt my feelings that she lied about it.

So, we talked about respecting people's property and being honest.

I guess the girls will get their allowances now, and I probably don't have to go to a makeup counter yet. The 8-year-old has a few years of "playing" before using makeup becomes a real thing, haha.

Thanks for the comments so far! Stuff like this always gets to me!!

October 16, 2014

Happy Birthday My Love!

Today is Craig's birthday! I kept thinking about what I might write about Craig this year, but I couldn't come up with anything more than what I wrote last year. As I re-read this post from last year, I realize how much of it still applies. No, this year has not been full of loss. As a matter of fact, it's been a year full of winning. I've gained my health back by losing weight, getting stronger and fitter and faster. Craig's moved on to a new job that we think will be an excellent turn for our family. Adjustments are hard, and we're working through this one just as well as we have all the others -- much thanks to Craig and all of his wonderful qualities. The kids are getting older and we're facing new challenges together.

And ultimately, that's why I celebrate Craig today. He and I face all of the everyday -- the fun, the sorrowful and the mundane -- together. I walk beside this wonderful man every day of my life knowing that God blessed me far beyond anything I could have ever desired the day our "two became one" and I thank Him every day for creating such a wonderful soul.

So, a little Throwback Thursday action for you.

Happy Birthday, you sweet, gentle, caring, loving man!

*******

October 16 is Craig's birthday.

I've always been happy to celebrate the day of his birth, but I think this year, I praise the day even more. This has been a difficult year for us and I've leaned on Craig far more than I ever expected to need to. I knew he'd always be there for me and could handle my leaning on him, but I just never thought I would.

You see, I'm the kind of woman who can handle anything. I grew up starting at the age of 8 without my father, helped care for my younger siblings, dabbled in unmentionable activities in high school -- and survived it all. I take pride in my ability to do many physical things -- I'm a good athlete and I'm competitive and I win. A lot.

When we opened our marriage to new life in our children, it happened for us (pretty much) whenever we wanted it to. When I have gone for promotions at work, I've (pretty much) gotten them. It really wasn't until about 11 years ago that I truly started to understand that I am blessed more by Grace than my own means...but a lifetime of a lack of humility is difficult to tame (though I'm always trying).

This year, I haven't won very much.

Losing Gregory was the hardest thing I have ever endured. Having pregnancy end in death was not something I ever had a mind or heart for (who does??) And while that's the biggest hard thing that's happened this year, there are others.

I've struggled in my job. You see, I have a complex where I want all the people in my group I manage to like me. And it's been a hard lesson to re-learn that I can't please everyone.

Discerning God's plan for our family size was difficult earlier this year. Gut-wrenching actually. Discovering through prayer and discernment that my final foray into childbearing would end the way it did, with no chance at a "happy ending" to console me was almost impossible, if not for Craig, would have been impossible. He helped me to face my selfishness and lack of trust. It was somewhat selfish that I wanted another baby, because it wasn't what is the best thing for our family. And though it was difficult, Craig helped me to wade through those feelings and prayers, and reminded me of all the ways we are blessed.

I'm the more uptight and intense partner in this marriage. Craig is gentle, forgiving, loyal and unwavering.

I want what I want and I want it now. Craig reminds me that sometimes God's blessings and timing are very different than ours.

I have been an emotional wreck for most of this year -- sobbing through Mass, not to be counted on to assist with the children. And at times, feeling like doing nothing around the house, even when there is clearly much work to be done. And there is Craig, rubbing my shoulders, giving me a hug, taking charge of Vincent at Mass, cleaning the house, disciplining the kids -- doing his part AND my part -- because I am not doing it. Craig has been rock solid and is the reason our home hasn't fallen apart in the midst of all the chaos this year.

So...I asked Craig what he wanted for his birthday and he said he didn't want presents (unless the kids insisted, ha). I know he likes cards, but I am so bad at picking one out. There are many cards that could tell Craig how much he means to me, but I have this public blog and all...so I thought I'd write it here.

Happy Birthday to the kindest, gentlest, strongest, most caring man I know in this world. My children are blessed to have him for a dad. And I praise God that He saw fit to bless me with Craig for a husband.

October 16 -- my world is infinitely better because Craig was born on this day.



October 15, 2014

Remembering Gregory

Complete and total darkness.

A gaping hole in my heart.

The feeling of having the wind knocked out of me over and over for 48 hours straight.

Taking deep breaths, only to realize I cannot breathe deeply enough to eliminate the pain I feel.

Photo Credit

When I remember February 28 through March 2 of 2013 -- these are some of the things I remember. I'll never forget how it felt when I heard the ultrasound technician say that she could not locate a heartbeat at my mid-pregnancy ultrasound. I'll never forget talking to my doctor on the phone as he tried to comfort me but also let me know what we could/should do to move forward. I will always remember grappling with the idea that for a period of time (probably about 10 days) I had carried Gregory's body, even though God had already called him Home.

Honestly, I still try to think about those 10 days and figure out if I could have known something was wrong. The only thing I come back to is how terrible I felt on the Thursday night a week before the ultrasound. We were having a snow event in Kansas City and I was staying in a hotel so I could be available at work the next day. I'd eaten the dinner provided and had the worst heartburn and stomach ache I had ever had while pregnant. And I was incredibly tired. The whole pregnancy with Gregory I was tired. And I kept playing it off: "What mom of 5, plus 1 in her belly, isn't tired?!?" Even my doctor admitted that he passed off my complaints of fatigue in that fashion.

In the end, it didn't matter if I could have known sooner that something was wrong. Ultimately, the infection that claimed Gregory's life was lethal, even if it had "resolved" as the bloodwork showed. I've come to grips with the fact that I could never have done anything to effect a different outcome. I simply did what I was called to do as a mother -- I loved my baby fully from his conception until his natural death -- and assisted in the creation of another soul for Christ.

I pray and ask Gregory to pray for me often. I ask him to pray for me to be a better mother to his siblings, that I can raise them to join him someday in Heaven. I ask him to pray for his siblings, too. When I "talk" to him, I remind him how much his siblings love him. I tell him how his siblings remember him. Dominic remembers that he has a brother in Heaven. Helen has asked about Gregory from time to time. Dani has included Gregory in her writing in the past. Vincent was too small to remember, but he knows there's an extra birth stone on my "ring with all the kids on it" (my mother's ring) and he's heard the other kids point to it and say, "That's Gregory." Sarah, being the oldest and, quite honestly, the more private of my children when it comes to emotional expression, doesn't say much. But I know somewhere in there she also has a love for her baby brother.

Of course, I don't need a day like "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day" to remember my sixth child, my third son. (I would imagine that Breast Cancer Survivors don't need the month of October to remember what they went through either.) Every day there is a way that I remember Gregory. Sometimes I simply glance at my ring and I'm reminded instantly. Everyday that I use a physical Rosary to pray the Rosary, I think of Gregory.

A beautiful gift from Gregory's godparents
I have pictures and memorabilia the hospital gave me so I can remember what size Gregory was when I delivered his body. I don't need them, of course, to remember how his whole hand fit on the fingerprint pad of my index finger. Even though his head was tiny, his facial features were already so much like his siblings.
 

No, I don't need a special day to remember that I cried and my heart ached for so long as I worked through the seemingly endless grief of losing a child before I was ready. And try as I might, I still haven't had an overwhelming peace that I understand God's ways in this. I know that understanding will most likely only come when I meet God face-to-face at the end of my life.

I suppose having a "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day" gives me an outlet to write about Gregory, to share my memories publicly, and to share his brief life and the love for him as a member of our family. I go back and forth about how much I should or shouldn't talk about Gregory. When people ask me how many kids I have, I typically say that I have five. Because in the physical realm of this world, that is what people see. Especially when I have just met a person, it seems awkward to launch into a story about my sixth child who is no longer with us. I'm okay with that. Only those who know me personally would "get it" when I say I have six children. But on a day like this, I can openly acknowledge Gregory -- and all the unfulfilled desires of my heart that are made evident in that acknowledgement. It's true that I feel like someone is missing at times from our family -- but then I realize it's not that he is missing from our family, he is simply with us in another way. He's praying for us and he is happy and united with God.

Sometimes I think about our (very) human ideas (with our earthly attachments...) of Heaven. I'd like to think that my grandparents are in Heaven and they see Gregory and welcomed him when he came. My grandmother had two children that didn't survive to adulthood (one stillbirth and one child who died when she was 4). I'd like to think that they were there, too. and the babies lost in pregnancy from my siblings. Even Craig's Dad, who passed away 5 years ago -- I'd like to think he is there showing Gregory "the ropes" of Heaven life. Oh, and how can I forget Aunt Bea?!? She loved children and babies. Perhaps she and Uncle Alex hang out with Gregory and she makes him her Fudge. Haha. that idea really makes me smile.

I don't need a special day to remember Gregory. But, Gregory is someone worth remembering on a special day.


A Post Just to Post Something

How awesome is this photo? What a great play that was last night and a great game! Go Royals!!

LINK HERE
The world at our house is spinning quickly and we're working hard to keep it under control. In Craig's second week in his new job, he's working "days" which means he actually leaves long before the sun is up to get started and can mean he doesn't get home until evening (as was the case Monday) or late afternoon (that happened Tuesday). We sure aren't going to mind the overtime pay, but getting adjusted to a new schedule can be hard on everyone.

First of all, I have to brag on my kids. They really are such good kids. We have adjusted our mornings to encompass attending the before-care program at school so that I do not have to drive all over the place before I even get to work. So, that means we are leaving the house at 7:00 a.m. in the mornings. Of course, I don't want to give up or miss my workouts. So, Sarah has been a lifesaver. I get her up before I leave and she has a quiet house to get ready (but she's up and, in effect, babysitting) and then she gets the kids up about 30 minutes earlier than we used to get up so they can be get dressed, clean up their rooms and get breakfast. All of the kids have been spectacular about making their lunches before going to bed so that's not something we're rushing around trying to do in the mornings. I get home from working out and get my shower, get dressed and -- if workout didn't go over -- I can even get breakfast. They also are on their own for a short period of time after school but they are so good about not turning on the T.V. and doing their homework. (Although, I did tell Sarah that they were allowed to watch the Royals game this afternoon if they wanted, but homework still had to get done quickly afterward with no complaints.) Anyway, the kids are fantastic. I'm very blessed.

Craig has also adjusted. He has to go to bed early since he has to get up so early. So, he hasn't been staying up late watching Royals games or anything. I think he enjoys the work he is doing so far and considers this a good move for him. Now, we just need to figure out how to get his workouts worked back into our schedule.

As for me, I'm trying to stay afloat with all the changes. It's difficult to adjust to relying on rides home for the kids or directing that they walk home (we only live 3 blocks from the school). Since the Paleo challenge ended, I've not stuck to it as closely as I wanted to, so I keep thinking I need to get back on it. But, it's difficult when there's little time for breakfast prep. Plus, my personality is an all-or-nothing sort when it comes to this. I have to say, I really love eating Paleo, but I have to do it strictly -- I have a hard time doing "a little bit" of non-paleo. I think if I had to say one thing I don't like about Paleo is that it's so hard to stick with it long-term -- at least for me, right now -- without an actual goal for it (like a "Challenge"). I think I'm going to coast through the next two-and-a-half months with the holidays and maybe try to go three months strict Paleo and see if going that long helps me over the hump to where it might be a but more difficult to fall off the wagon. I'm still getting all of my workouts in, which I am very pleased about. On Sunday, I ran my three miles at an 8:44 pace. Thanks to the fact that I really need new shoes, though, my knees have hurt since. I also climbed the rope again this morning. I am getting faster at it! Work is going okay. I'm trying to navigate a role change that is difficult at this stage, but I have people on my side willing to help. So, I am hopeful in the next year or two I can move into a role that I think is a great fit for me and where I could be for the rest of my working life.

Vincent has had to adjust to being at daycare more than he was before. I think he's getting there. One day last week I asked him if he had fun that day and he said, "No." and I said, "Oh no! What happened?" and he replied, "No one picks me up after nap anymore." You see, the schedule was that Craig would pick up the kids from school and then directly go and pick up Vincent, so he was picked up no later than 4:00 every day and usually 3:40 or so. He would get up from nap and then get picked up. But, now, he can be there until 5:30 if I pick him up. Even if Craig gets there, it's not as early as before. But I think he's starting to get used to it. Also, he is going five days a week -- which is new for him, too.

I'm sure we'll all get used to this new normal soon. Of course, then Craig might be put on the evening shift and we'll need to figure out a new routine. But I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

In the meantime, we're having a blast watching our Boys in Blue in the post-season this October. I am elated that the Royals are one win away from the World Series. How cool it would be to sweep into the World Series! Let's go, Royals!

October 10, 2014

7 Quick Takes - 91 (The Happy Things Edition)





Thank you to Jennifer Fulwiler for hosting the 7QT. It's been a good week in these parts, so I have decided to make all 7 of these about things that make me happy.


--- 1 ---
Craig has a new job. And with this new job comes weekends off! Holy cow, I can't believe it. He's worked weekends for as long as I can remember. Other than his short stint as a Stay-At-Home-Dad...and even then, he performed at Comedy City back then, so he still had commitments on the weekend. This morning, before he left for work (because right now -- he's also working DAY SHIFT!!), he came in and gave me a hug and said, "Guess what?! It really IS Friday!" Because his "Friday" has been Wednesday for the past couple of years. So, today, I get to anticipate a weekend where neither of us has to go in to work! Yippee!


 
--- 2 ---
This song makes me happy:


--- 3 ---

Wednesday afternoon, I returned home from work to a very smiley and happy Helen. She handed me the test packet (they group the previous week's quizzes/tests together for parental review/signature) and started flipping through. The first thing I saw was a score of A on the top sheet. She giggles and then she flips that page and the next things I see is a score of A on the next thing. She proceeds to giggle and tell me, "And look at this one..." all the way through showing me quiz and test after quiz and test with nothing less than an A-. And I was more and more excited with each turn of the page. She stopped before she flipped to the final quiz (it was the math quiz) and says, "And this one....you just HAVE to see this one" and she had the biggest most heartwarming grin on her face and her cheeks were so full from how far her smile stretched. She slowly flipped the page over to reveal that she earned an A+ on the previous week's math quiz! Holy Moly! I dropped the papers and put my hands in the air and shouted, "We are gonna have a PAR-TAY!!!" And she just giggled and giggled and grinned. It was, quite honestly, the highlight of my week. (And that's saying a lot because I was pretty happy all week!)

Oh, and Helen having fun with her friends makes me happy, too :)

--- 4 ---
So more about this new job. Craig is working day shift until November, when they will add a shift and it's most likely he will go back to working nights. Of course, we've done nights for years and so it will be an adjustment back to that. BUT! He still has weekends off (unless they schedule overtime, which they will I would imagine, from time to time).

You guys -- the weekends off -- it's awesome.

oh and if he does work overtime? Well -- they will have to PAY HIM OVERTIME! (unlike the previous employer -- he worked lots and lots of overtime and did not get paid for it there)

--- 5 ---
CrossFit -- as you undoubtedly know -- makes me happy. This week, I ran my 1/2-mile in 3:19. Quite honestly, I don't think I ran it that fast when I was 14 and ran it regularly in track. That was a nice boost to my Wednesday.
 
--- 6 ---
The Royals are in the ALCS!! Wow! Just last week, I was saying how they won that crazy Wild Card game and were in the ALDS and I was hoping they'd win that. Well, they SWEPT the team with the best record in baseball. How crazy is that?!?

So, tonight they begin the ALCS with the Baltimore Orioles -- another team, that admittedly, has had quite a drought of playoff games. But, I just can't help getting all giddy for these boys in blue and think that they HAVE to win this series and go on to the World Series. I was so excited Sunday night watching them win. It was so great!

Good luck Royals! #BeRoyalKC #TakeTheCrown #RoyalOctober #ALCS


 
--- 7 ---
Reading also makes me happy. Right now I am re-reading the Hunger Games books as I prepare for the release of Mockingjay Pt 1 on November 21. Sarah and I will be attending -- with a couple of her friends and their moms (if the moms want to come).

Speaking of movies (I guess I wasn't, but whatever) I went to see Gone Girl last week! I read that book over the summer and remember what a disturbing story it was. That is the first book I have ever read where I really dug the storyline (i.e., I was riveted) but I could not find one redeeming character in the whole book. They were all a bunch of schmucks!! I just didn't like anyone! Usually, if I like a book that much, it is because I like a character. The movie was good. I had read ahead of time that Gillian Flynn wrote the screen adaptation, so I was hopeful it would stay pretty true to the book -- and it did.

Ya gotta wonder, however, just how some people come up with such demented subject matter!


OK! Bonus take! Vincent is attending his first friend birthday party today. This is such a fun thing, for some reason. But a girl he plays with at daycare is having a pool party and invited Vincent. He is very excited! So much cuteness.
 

Be sure to go visit Jen Fulwiler, who today was unable to write a post, but is STILL hosting the linkup at Conversion Diary! Go meet some other great bloggers!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

October 3, 2014

7 Quick Takes - 90





Thank you to Jennifer Fulwiler for hosting the 7QT.


--- 1 ---
The most exciting thing happened this week! The Royals won their Wild Card game on Tuesday night in dramatic fashion. It was late at night when it was over. And though I dozed through parts of it, I was awake for the most important part -- the bottom of the 12th inning. Ahh! So awesome that they won that game.

Then, they went out and beat the Angels in game 1 of the ALDS last night. Another extra inning game that I actually dozed and did NOT wake up. It was so exciting, however, to wake up and see that the #Royals had indeed won the game and taken a 1-0 lead in the series. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am. I have butterflies in my stomach constantly when I think about it. I love post-season baseball and it's been so very long since I got to enjoy it, that I do think I had forgotten what it was like! 

This guy^^ homered in the 11th!
 
--- 2 ---
Tonight I am going out with some girlfriends to see Gone Girl at the theater! The book was recommended to me last summer and I devoured it in just a little over a week. I loved it. And so began my new love affair with Gillian Flynn novels. I promptly reserved, then read each of the books she's written. Can't wait to see the movie tonight (and have some non-Paleo popcorn, ha)

--- 3 ---
Update on Helen. She's having a bit of a better time doing her homework, and while her scores on math quizzes haven't improved drastically, the errors she is making are just silly ones where I can tell she is not taking her time. THAT is something completely fixable, in my opinion, so I'm focusing on double-checking and taking her time right now. Also, I thank God for great friends. Helen's godmother e-mailed me after my post lamenting the trouble I have spending enough time with Helen and offered to spend time with her doing homework, reading, whatever she needed. What a HUGE blessing! I can tell that having a non-parent work with Helen is very helpful. I like to work with Helen, but I will admit that because it is ME who corrects her, she takes the correction very hard.

I e-mailed Craig one afternoon asking how Helen was doing working with Beth. He replied, "Fine. No crying, no yelling and she hasn't called her mean." That's why it's better if Helen spends extra time with someone who is not her Mom. Yes, when I tell Helen a correction is needed, she has told me I am "mean." She just doesn't like to have negative feedback come from her mommy.

I am very proud of Helen for pulling herself together and really working on things though. She takes the suggestions and tips from her teacher, Beth and works with us. I love that about her. She's still a hard worker -- that much hasn't changed. Good girl.

Bonus: this is what I do after Helen's showers -- double french-braid her hair:
She loves it...because it puts curl in her hair without the hot rollers

--- 4 ---
I'm also proud of Dani and Sarah for how they are working in school right now. Sarah studies so hard and works to get her homework done. It's paying off so far on the grade card. And Dani -- wow, what can I say? that girl is a reading machine! The requirement was to read 10 books and take AR tests during the quarter and she's done 18 so far. I'm happy that she's doing well in all other subjects, too, but her reading is amazing.

--- 5 ---
Another cool fact about Dani: she's writing a book. Seriously. She works on it when she has free time. I don't know how many chapters she is up to, but she's written quite a bit. I hope she lets me read it.
 
--- 6 ---
Speaking of changes. Oh, I wasn't? Well, let me just say -- there will be some changes coming in our household. Note: NOT in the number of people who live in the house or anything like that. But some major changes and I'm not really sure (and I'm not at liberty to disclose yet anyway) how these changes will take place. I only know they are coming.

Oh well, I guess it's been awhile since we shook things up!
 
--- 7 ---
So it's now October. They started the Book It! program through Pizza Hut in Dominic's class. He loves it. I found out yesterday that Pizza Hut is opening the program up for adults. I think it might be cool to register and do it with Dominic. Then when we earn our pizzas, I can take him out for a little "date" and we can get them together.

He helped me out with picking the next book -- when I got hom Wednesday, he had Flat Stanley ready to go. We read a few chapters of that one and both enjoyed it. I got some great suggestions from my Mumble re: books for him on Monday, so hopefully that will keep us going for awhile! Thank you!!
 

Be sure to go visit Jen Fulwiler at Conversion Diary!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

September 29, 2014

Monday Mumbles - 76

Good morning! It's Monday and I haven't done a Mumbles post in about a month. So, here you go!

1. I posted my results from completing the Paleo Challenge with the CrossFit box last night. In case you missed it. I'm pretty happy about those and motivated to keep on going with the nutrition changes.

2. This weekend, I was talking with Dominic about school. He's very excited that his class is getting a new student today. He was listing off the "SuperKids" the new student would need to complete before being all caught up with the class. It was kind of cracking me up. So, I asked him if his teachers knew that he could read already. Do you know what that little turkey says to me? He leans in like he is going to tell me something important that is meant for my ears only and says, "I kind of like to keep that a secret." Ha!

3. Because Dominic's reading abilities are advanced, it's difficult to find appropriate books for him to read. I've played around trying to pick out books for him and he's let me know that I should just "stick to the Star Wars books, Mom." Dominic asked me to read The Hobbit with him. Personally, I'm not a huge Tolkein fan. There are so many details and lots of words and it's a tedious process to get through the book. My dad suggested perhaps the early Harry Potter books (Books 1-3) and I'm tempted. But, I think I'm going to try again at the library and see what kind of series I can find that might interest Dominic.

4. Oh and this is funny, too. Dominic uses "Dom" as his name on his papers at school. I think it might be because he really does not like writing, so "Dom" is shorter than "Dominic." He also puts H after his name all the time -- even when we are signing our names for birthday cards in the family! There's another Dominic in his class, so my son is "Dominic H."

5. I mentioned it yesterday, but I'll tell you today -- I got my pull-ups yesterday! They are kipping (so not strict) but I seriously did it. One week after my post about wanting to achieve that goal, I finally did it.


6. This morning, however, I ripped a couple of the callouses on my hands doing pull-ups, so that hurt.
Hands of a CrossFitter
Hands of a CrossFitter
7. Dani has her 2nd cross-country meet this afternoon! Run, Dani, run!!

8. Can you believe we're at the end of September? The weeks haven't actually gone by as fast as they had been, but here we are at the end of another month anyway. I just realized my kids only have about four more weeks before the 1st quarter will be done for school. That's just crazy-talk!

9. Did you know that Kansas City topped Huffington Post's 5 Cities To Keep On Your Radar. The interesting part of the article was Richmond, VA was 2nd and Charlotte, NC was third. I have aunts, uncles and cousins in Richmond and actually wanted to move there myself at one point. And I have a sister and a brother who both have their families settled in the Charlotte area. Kind of fun.

10. Interesting Twitter Discussion re: discernment and having more children or whether a couple is obligated to keep having children if they are able, happening this morning.


Since we came to our position a year ago, I keep waiting for some sort of regret or wistful weeping for the children I have "foregone" but it has yet to come. I feel very at peace with our family, the number of children we have both on earth and in heaven. I love to visit and hold babies and smell them and fuss over them, but I don't feel the desire that I worried I would. I'm not sure what that means, if it means anything at all. I don't mean to be all prideful and say something to the effect -- "Of course, we discerned correctly/appropriately because it's worked out to be so easy and we are at peace." But the level of peace I feel with everything, helps me to move forward every day appreciating my children, loving them and cherishing the moments I have with them (as much as I am able). Hm. Maybe a blogpost on that in the near future, we'll see.


Have a great Monday and blessed week everyone!