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June 26, 2011

"Carry You, Momma"

Dominic's language progression is about as normal as my other kids.  Some things have come a little fast, others not as fast, but overall, he's learned to communicate with us rather well at this point (he is just about 30 months old).

One of the cutest things he says is, "Wah-nah Cay-wee You, Mom-ma!"  (I want to carry you, Momma.)

This is what he says when he wants me to pick him up and hold him.  I thought perhaps this little "-ism" of his had gone by the wayside because I couldn't recall hearing it all that often lately.  But tonight as he was laying in bed, trying not to go to sleep, crying for me, I went in there and he said, "Cay-wee you.  Cay-wee you."

So, I picked him up and held him and swayed with him.  Moments like that kind of get to me.  Especially with another baby on the way.  Pretty soon, Dominic won't be the baby.  I mean, he'll always be MY baby, and all that stuff.  But his world is about to be rocked as someone new and smaller joins this family and starts taking the lion's share of my attention (in his eyes).  

It also made me think of what he was saying.  Even though he wants ME to hold/carry HIM, his language skills don't convey that message and he says that HE wants to hold/carry ME.

It kind of made me think of how my prayer life goes at times.  Sometimes, when I'm praying to God about my struggles and my worries, I feel like I'm trying to place them at the Lord's feet...but my words are all about me and how I can help myself...what I need to do, what I want to happen.  Sure, I often tack on, "oh, but THY WILL BE DONE, oh Lord!"  But do I really mean that?  In reality, am I still trying to do everything myself and solve all my own problems and get my way in everything?  Am I trying to convey, "Carry me, Lord" but incapable, due to my human state...so instead, I'm saying, "I'll carry you, Lord" when that's so incredibly impossible?  I mean, how often am I communicating with the Lord as though I am a simple 2-year-old who can't quite comprehend and definitely can't communicate what she wants?

I had to go back into Dominic's room a second time tonight, which is rare.  Usually, I don't have to go in and hold him at all...he usually lays right down and falls asleep quickly.  But, I went back in as he called for me, "Mommy.  Mommy."  I laid my head on his pillow.  I reminded him where he was going tomorrow and that he'd be able to play with his friends.  

And then I asked him..."Do you love me?" and of course he responded, "Yes."  And I told him I loved him and good night.  I didn't hear any more from him after that.  I don't typically ask my children that question.  Sometimes they offer up an "I love you" or they say it in response to my declaration for them.  I really don't know what prompted me to ask it of my 2-year-old tonight, but for some reason, the words came out.

And even that exchange reminded me of my relationship with God, at times.  Sometimes I wonder if He feels like He must ask me, "Do you love me?" 

3 comments:

  1. Enormously moving, Michelle. What a blessing!

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a beautiful reflection, Michelle. God bless you in these last few days.

    ReplyDelete

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