Off With the Old, On With the New -- Hello 2013!

I've been mulling an end of year / beginning of year post all day long.  A new year brings along...well, newness.  It's like a blank canvas and we're anxious to paint our story once again.  A new year is like a brand new coloring book and we can flip through all the outlined pictures and see that no one has scribbled all over this one or already colored that one.  We get to pick!  

There's so much about 2013 that will be the same for me:  Still a work-outside-the-home-mom; Still trying to figure out the preteen years, but potentially adding a second girl to hit those phases in this house; Still trying to grow closer to Christ -- whether it be continuing to attempt a Rosary every morning as I get ready for work, or making it to extra Masses during the week; Still confused about my relationships with my parents and how they impact the kind of mom I am.

There's so much that will be new in 2013, too.  The biggest new thing is another baby -- one thing I know from experience is how you can hardly remember what life was like before that baby once s/he is born.  Other new things include my first year as an officer at my company, my first year completely as a spectator with regard to my kids and their sports/activities.

I love to make New Year's Resolutions.  And I love to break New Year's Resolutions.

This year, I am really going to make a much better effort at making and keeping the following:

• Stay caught up on my Reading the Catechism in a year.  I'm terrible about getting about 8 days behind and then catching up all at once.  So, every morning, I'm going to read that e-mail and stay caught up!
• I'm going to blog on Wednesdays and Fridays.  If  a Monday post sneaks in there once in awhile, we won't cry about it.  But I think I can get something up on Wednesdays and Fridays.
• I'm going to stay on the budget I create.  I was doing really good at this until about May of 2012.  Then, I started going all willy-nilly.  While we were able to absorb this, I just want to say...the picture ain't pretty when I go all willy-nilly on the budget.
• I have a few private ones having to do with my food issues that I'm just going to keep private for now.  I've written enough by now that you probably know I have real issues with food.  Just because I'm not suffering from anorexia nervosa or bulimia does not mean I don't struggle with an eating disorder.  Mine just happens to be more socially acceptable for some reason.

I think I'd be a little bit untruthful to say that I wasn't nervous about what 2013 will bring.  I haven't had my first prenatal appointment so I haven't heard the heartbeat of this baby.  But, I've been religiously taking my injections like a woman (sitting here with ice packs on my bum as we speak!!) and I'm 10 weeks along.  I've finally stopped watching for my period to start and I think I've finally gotten a good grasp on the idea that I have 6 children.  

I'm anxious that I will have a newborn who is up at all hours of the night while I still have a just-turned-2-year-old who isn't a reliable all-night sleeper (yes, still have problems with baby boy Vincent these days).  I worry as I discern with Craig whether we should trade in our van for a vehicle that will seat everyone in our family or if we should just keep the two paid-for vehicles we have and carpool whenever the whole lot of us need to go somewhere.  

The new year brings excitement, joy and shiny newness.  

And the new year brings some anxiety.  

But one thing I've tried to do over the years is put all of that -- the joy, the excitement, the anxiety, the discernment -- at the foot of Jesus and trust that He will see me through it all.  

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