It is now the 6th day of Lent and I'm realizing how much the little preparation can take a toll on whether one is fully present in their sacrifice, prayer and almsgiving. Without reflecting ahead of time, one can't get the commitment needed to go a week, let alone 40 days!
Weekends are not my typical time for reflection and commitment to sacrifice and I felt that keenly this past weekend. We typically go to Mass at the Saturday evening vigil because Craig works all night and needs to sleep on Sunday. But other than that, there's not a lot of glaring opportunity for prayer...or is there? Is it just that I've let so much "other" stuff creep into my periphery that I don't take the time I should? I think that's more likely the case.
Take this weekend for instance. Saturday morning, I dropped Helen off at ballet and then commenced clearing my desk that is forever a mess and paying the bills. There was laundry to be done, a kitchen to clean up, kids to be clothed. But there was also the "down" time, where I just sometimes want my brain to be checked out. I have a couple of games on the computer that I can play where I don't have to think and I like those. I especially like to "check out" for a bit on the weekends. Anyway, then there were showers to be taken and baths to be given and Mass and then I was off to attend the KU Basketball game. So, Saturday got completely away from me without thinking about Lent at all. Then Sunday, I lay in bed for as long as possible, then lounged on the couch while the boys played (still in my PJ's!) doing nothing for the most part.
As I sat at Sarah's practice, I wondered why I am so tired and why I don't feel like doing anything. I want to blame pregnancy, but I don't remember it being this way before. I know my doc said I could take the anxiety meds during pregnancy, but I haven't. I don't even know if I should start back up or not at this point.
So, this morning, I realized I am still pretty worked up over the Pope, over not being prepared for Lent properly, and the fact that I'm going to have to figure out new furniture arrangements when this baby comes, although waiting to find out the gender for sure is probably a good move. I read my Catechism readings that had piled up in my inbox, once again and plan to pray some extra St. Michael the Archangel prayers today.