In years past, this day would come and go and I would see the posts on facebook or I would read blogs and try to understand. But, today, I understand far more than I ever wanted. I've caught myself a few times over the past few days remembering moments here and there that cause me a moment of grief.
I recently held a baby that couldn't have been more than 4 or 5 weeks old. She was so precious, and the tears came, though not heavily. I see pictures of my nephew who is now 6 months old and I wistfully think of my baby boy in Heaven and say a little prayer.
The loss of a child through miscarriage and/or stillbirth is often a silent and invisible grief. It had only been 3 months and I already had extended family asking my husband if I was getting counseling and if I was okay because I still cried at Mass. In our day and age of "get over it" many times, those who have not been through such a thing don't understand the pain involved and wonder just why a mother cries in grief months after the loss. In this society where babies are seen as something to be desired only when everything is perfect, many don't understand why a woman grieves the loss of a child from miscarriage when clearly, "that's nature's Mercy for an imperfect child."
What I have lived for the last 7 months, I would never wish on anyone. I'm grateful for my faith that helps me understand that Gregory is with God and I pray I will see him when, God-willing, I begin new life in Heaven after my earthly death. But that doesn't take away the sadness and the longing I have for the baby that didn't join us here on Earth.
If you think about it today, say a prayer for a bereaved mother.