I just saw this photo posted by Under Armour on Facebook:
I know stuff like this is meant to motivate, but it often tends to make me feel hopeless. I used to do something active every day. I used to run miles and miles. I used to play volleyball 3-4 nights a week and do something else on the other nights.
That was before...
That was when it was just me and I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it.
I feel sad because NOW is the time I really need to be taking care of myself. NOW is the time I need to get extra weight from pregnancies off my body and NOW is the time to build some muscle to help with the aches and pains of aging. But NOW I do not have the time to devote to this. NOW is when I should be taking care of myself so I can be there for my kids later when they need me to have the energy and the ability to support them in their activities, as they get on into high school, college even.
This summer, for seven weeks straight I made it to 3 boot camps per week. My schedule at work allowed me to leave at 4:30 p.m., I had no obligations after work except for a one-off meeting here or there that I was able to work around, and my husband's work schedule accommodated me arriving home around 6:00 p.m. on the days I did it. That ended in mid-July. I was feeling really strong and fit right at that moment.
Then...life happened (again. some more. still.) The end of summer flurry of activity with family visits, preparing for school to start again, transitioning to school (four kids this year including the preschooler), volleyball coaching, swim team practices, ballet lessons, guitar lessons, swim lessons, school board meetings, homework checking, reading instruction, and a new role with my organization that seems to get bigger every time I stand back to take a look at it -- all of that has pushed out any time for me to do the level of sweating I would like to do on a regular basis.
So even though I can justify taking my sleep over workouts and even though I understand that this is just one part of my life and it, too, will pass like the blink of an eye, I still get sad when I see that I should be taking care of my body physically as well as spiritually and I am failing in that aspect. Sure, I'm taking a step in the right direction by getting back to Weight Watchers and getting the exercise in when I can (I got two 30-minute sessions on the step-mill in during Dani's swim practices this past week), but there's always pressure (it seems) to do more.
What's an out-of-shape momma to do? I am tired of saying to myself, "I'll get to that in a couple of years when the baby is 3" or "30 minutes is better than nothing." I KNOW that 30 minutes is better than nothing, but I desire so much more. It's difficult to balance this need to care for myself with the demands of my children and my work. Thank God my husband doesn't demand all that much of me (yes, he truly is a gem) because I don't think I could stand it.
Not sure what the point of this post is. Gripe that I hate running into ads like the one above because it makes me feel "less-than"? Give me a place to list all my excuses for not being in better physical shape?
It is most likely that this is my current state in life and like all the others, I need to look to find God's plan in all of it. I'm a mom. I work outside the home at a full-time job. I'm active in many things at our parish and school. Working out and sweating every day is taking a back seat right now. Will it be this way forever? I think that is what is causing me consternation over the whole matter.
Perhaps this will provide me an outlet and a space where I am able to collect some encouragement from you moms who have "been there done that" with large families or something. Is there ever a time when you feel like you have the time to devote to getting into really good shape again?