I'd let that be the end of this post, but that's too Twitter/Facebook-ey of me. I guess I knew I didn't have the right mindset for it right now. Thursday will be six weeks since my surgery and that means I can get back to Crossfit workouts. Yay.
Thursday also brings an opportunity to attend the next Weight Watchers at Work meeting.
I think I gotta go back to the Weight Watchers meetings. I'm like that undisciplined kid that needs an accountability check every 7 days and the only way I think I can make myself do it long-term, if at all, is to get myself to the WW at work meetings. I am always successful the first 6 weeks or so when I am on plan. I track diligently, I attend the meetings. I am a good little Weight Watcher.
Then...I drop 10% of my body weight and i start thinking I can do it all by myself and I drop off...
And it's not long before I'm right back where I started.
But I also seriously lack in the self-discipline department. I feel like such a fraud when people tell me how "good" I am that I get out there and exercise. It's kind of weird to say..."Well, the exercise is the easy part for me -- the hard part is the eating."
Because when it comes down to it -- eating is my problem. I eat too much and I eat too often. I eat when I'm bored and I eat because I'm sad. I eat because it's lunch time and then I eat because it's dinner time and I eat because it's snack time. Then I eat because it tastes too damn good not to eat it.
I have long since passed the point where I am able to exercise off the amount I eat and that is the problem I must face. I honestly don't think it's the WHAT that I eat. It truly is the HOW MUCH and HOW OFTEN. It is also the WHY.
If I would just stop to think about WHY I felt like eating before I popped another mouthful of food in my mouth, a number of things might happen. I might...
- cry because I'd stop to think about WHY and realize that I am sad or depressed or desperate and food was going to make me feel better
- hyperventilate, because stopping to think about WHY might help me remember I already ate 4 meals that day
- pound my fist on something hard, because the physical pain might then drown the emotional pain I feel that I was hoping to drown in food
But. No. It's time I realize that I'm an adult who has some issues and I can no longer keep turning to food for my fix.
So, tomorrow, on Thursday, I am going to go to the At Work WW meeting and weigh in (yet again) for the "first" time and try to do this thing. I won't report more about it until next Wednesday, which I plan to call, going forward, Weight Watchers Wednesdays.
Starting next week, you can expect a post every Wednesday that will give the rundown of what the previous Thursday's weigh-in was, the focus of the meeting, My weekly PointsPlus target, some of the things I did that week to stay within my PointsPlus target and my exercise (I'll try to translate to the Activity PointsPlus). I will also give a little info on how I felt that week (was it difficult? was it easy? was it comfortable? was I proud? was I a stinkin' mess? You know...)
I have no idea if this interests anyone, but my plan is to do it until I get six weeks past hitting my goal weight (which means I would attain Lifetime status with WW). I think I just need the motivation to keep going with it and maybe comments from readers (hint hint -- if you read my posts, please feel free to comment and encourage me :) ) will keep me going on it.
Something has got to keep me going anyway.
I'll still blog other things, of course, but Wednesdays will be for Weight Watchers. :)