A great big thank you to Jennifer Fulwiler for hosting! I have some thoughts I keep wanting to turn into blogposts, but I haven't found the time or been able to make a whole post. So, that is what these 7 quick takes posts are for, right!?!
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"She looks so good for having had five (six, eight, four, insert-any-number) kids!"
What, prey tell, is this supposed to mean and why do people say it so often? Is it that society thinks having children is supposed to make women look...hmm...not good? I mean, what is the deal? Granted, I look different than I think I would look if I hadn't carried six children. But I'm not sure I'd look all that much better than I do.
Or if a woman looks good, a person might say, "Cannot believe you had five (six, eight, four, insert-any-number) kids!" Because apparently women cannot remain fit through the process.
I guess it all comes down to our society's view of pregnancy as a sickness or a disease. It's something to prevent at all costs. Maybe.
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I know losing a baby the way we lost Gregory is nothing at all like an abortion. I say that because I want you to know...I do know that. However, sometimes I start thinking about women who choose to terminate a pregnancy at the stage where I was with Gregory and/or beyond. And, I do a bit of mourning for those children and praying for those moms.
Our society is kind of cruel with interrupted pregnancies (both miscarriages and abortions). It seems like society (particularly those who camp on the pro-choice/pro-abortion side) thinks a woman should easily "get over" an abortion. And, to be honest, I've run into my fair share of folks who, I do not think, understand that I am still grieving the loss of my son at almost 20 weeks gestation.
I know it has more to do with the fact that, in general, personhood is not assigned to babes in the womb. Of course, many of us on the pro-life side of things believe that's a baby with a soul and all that jazz...but every day, I come into contact with people who think it should be easy enough to move past a loss of a pregnancy. You can tell this in the comments people make, and even in the lack of compassion in their faces...or maybe just confusion.
Regardless, I find myself hurting for women who are so scared to carry a baby to term...and then take the drugs or have the procedure to abort their child and are confused at their feelings of loss. There is help for them, of course, but many of them do not know it's available or how to find it.
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I had occasion to re-read my 7QT post on personal discernment from a few weeks ago. I remember how hard it was to get to the place where I could write that post. and I think about the growth I have experienced since then. I really should write about it some more. There is this whole other life on the other side of having the babies that I am now starting to experience and also look forward to. And I am starting to feel less sad about it. I continue to move toward a good place of acceptance. When I stop to think about it that way, it's kind of surreal.
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The girls' parent-teacher conferences were yesterday and I couldn't be more pleased. I'm happy that Sarah has found a good place. She's restored her confidence, now understands how her teachers operate and what they expect, and she's not afraid to step in and take charge. I have always seen leadership capability in Sarah, but it's nice to hear her teachers see it, too. And, I'm so excited that she seems to have a knack for writing! It pleases me to see some of her qualities that are similar to my own...it's fun to have stuff in common with her.
Dani continues to blossom with her writing and reading as well. Her teacher was pleased with her report she recently presented. Dani reads so well and has lots of points in the AR reading program. She loves getting really big books and doing really well on the AR tests.
And guess what. At Helen's conference...probably three different times her teacher said, "Helen is a hard worker." Now, I know I have mentioned before about Helen being my mini-me. And I know that I don't talk all that much about being a "hard worker" or that I was always noted as a "hard worker" growing up. So when I heard her teacher say that multiple times during the conference, I just had to smile. My baby girl -- just like her Momma -- a hard worker. :)
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